About six weeks ago Cheryl rented the movie "Fireproof." Now I'm no critic, but even to my untrained eyes the acting left something to be desired. However, if you've been married for any length of time you can't help but find something in the story line that you can identify with. And, such was the case with both of us.
Cheryl and I have been married for thirty-three years next month (thru no fault of my own). We sat quietly contemplating what we had just seen and independently came to the same conclusion. We wanted to do the 40 day "Love Dare" on the premise that even a good marriage can be made better. We also decided that we wanted to share it with the three couples closest to us - our two sons, their wives, a niece and her spouse who lives locally.
Cheryl wasted no time in buying the movie and four copies of the "Love Dare." Together we picked out moleskines for each of the players to journal in - pink for the gals and black for the guys. Now it was just a matter of trying to schedule a time that would work for everyone. This was finally worked out to be Saturday. Dinner and a movie, our house (after the NFL Draft!). :)
The event went pretty much as anticipated and we were just excited about sharing something we were both enthused about.
Sunday: Day 1 - Resolve to demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to your spouse at all.
I felt like I had a head start since I'd seen the movie twice and the book had been in the house for six weeks now. I proudly gave myself a up check at the end of the day.
Monday: Day 2 - In addition to repeating Day 1, do one unexpected gesture of kindness.
Still feeling pretty positive about not saying anything negative. Hmmm... an unexpected gesture of kindness.
Now I'm a rather old fashioned kind of guy (now don't be throwin' stuff at me) so finding me in the kitchen someplace other than the refrigerator would be pretty unexpected. So while Cheryl was grocery shopping I wandered in there with some good intentions.
The dishes seemed like a good place to start. There were a few dishes out so I opened the dishwasher but it was already full. How do you tell if they are clean or dirty? I started it just to be safe. Then I started to hand wash the few on the drainboard. It was about then that I noticed a box on top of the fridge that I knew contained a replacement timer for the oven.
Guess I'm easily side tracked. I stopped everything and pulled the stove out from the wall. Then I went to the garage to get some tools. In short order I'd broken the stove down to parade rest and had pieces spread out all over the drainboard. That's when Cheryl got home.
Good thing Cheryl loves me! The kitchen I'd started, with good intentions, to clean looked like a train wreck. I did, however, complete the repair. The stove clock now works again as well as the oven timer. That's when I noticed the receipt in the bottom of the box - 4/12/2002. She's also patient.
Cheryl saved my by saying, "I brought home some steaks. Why don't your fire up the BBQ and I'll take care of the rest of this." What a gal!
I think I need a do over for Day 2. ... an unexpected gesture of kindness...
Any ideas?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
A HELL of a lot of confusion...
Glad nobody asked me about this...
At the onset - pardon if I ramble. I've sat on this all week and I'm just trying to work it all out!
In January my church's teaching pastor did a GREAT series on "A Year of Living Dangerously." It totally rocked and I didn't want to miss a minute of it. However, I'm kind of wishing I'd been out of town last Sunday - you know - stick my head in the sand, break my iPod and corrupt iTunes - darn, I didn't get that one. But, alas, I was in my regular seat. In fact, this was the first time my youngest son has been with the family for Sunday morning services. (He's been working weekends for two years.)
It seemed to me that this particular service could have easily been taught by Brian McLaren, Doug Pagitt or Marko - though I wasn't aware JCC had that bent. I have no doubt Ed would rather teach on tithing or maybe Ephesians 5:22-23 than "You Asked about... HELL" (the last might be a toss up). In the end I just could not build a bridge between "A Dangerous God" (He is judgemental, woe is me - Iam ruined, etc) and Hell is nothing more than separation from God.
It just sounded rather sophmoric like:
- Bad Todd, now go to your room - forever, or;
- I'm blocking you from my twitter account and removing you as my friend on Facebook (and telling everyone I did).
Maybe I missed something but I know I wasn't sleeping or checking sports scores on my phone. Frankly, I've been mad enough at God at times in my life that I might have wanted a little separation (and did separate myself from Him). I am ever so greatful that He has not wanted to be separated from me. And, that His grace is sufficient.
Though I didn't grow up with him, this is the very subject that caused my father to leave the seminary and turn his back on organized religion/Christianity. You know, loving God - Hell. They just seemed mutually exclusive to him.
Perhaps someone can help me here because I'm feeling incomplete. I'd happily buy Ed a cup of his favorite Starbucks refreshment to dig deeper. But, I'll settle for what I can get. :)
At the onset - pardon if I ramble. I've sat on this all week and I'm just trying to work it all out!
In January my church's teaching pastor did a GREAT series on "A Year of Living Dangerously." It totally rocked and I didn't want to miss a minute of it. However, I'm kind of wishing I'd been out of town last Sunday - you know - stick my head in the sand, break my iPod and corrupt iTunes - darn, I didn't get that one. But, alas, I was in my regular seat. In fact, this was the first time my youngest son has been with the family for Sunday morning services. (He's been working weekends for two years.)
It seemed to me that this particular service could have easily been taught by Brian McLaren, Doug Pagitt or Marko - though I wasn't aware JCC had that bent. I have no doubt Ed would rather teach on tithing or maybe Ephesians 5:22-23 than "You Asked about... HELL" (the last might be a toss up). In the end I just could not build a bridge between "A Dangerous God" (He is judgemental, woe is me - Iam ruined, etc) and Hell is nothing more than separation from God.
It just sounded rather sophmoric like:
- Bad Todd, now go to your room - forever, or;
- I'm blocking you from my twitter account and removing you as my friend on Facebook (and telling everyone I did).
Maybe I missed something but I know I wasn't sleeping or checking sports scores on my phone. Frankly, I've been mad enough at God at times in my life that I might have wanted a little separation (and did separate myself from Him). I am ever so greatful that He has not wanted to be separated from me. And, that His grace is sufficient.
Though I didn't grow up with him, this is the very subject that caused my father to leave the seminary and turn his back on organized religion/Christianity. You know, loving God - Hell. They just seemed mutually exclusive to him.
Perhaps someone can help me here because I'm feeling incomplete. I'd happily buy Ed a cup of his favorite Starbucks refreshment to dig deeper. But, I'll settle for what I can get. :)
Saturday, February 28, 2009
PERSONAL HYGIENE
Personal hygiene was certainly not the intended subject for my next post. In fact, it wasn’t even on the list of conceived post. But life takes some funny twist and turns and here we are. Of course, nobody asked me, but…
I am continuously in and out of homes and offices and meeting new people. Oftentimes the environment puts us in close quarters. While my business is technology it continues to exist because of developed relationships and personal hygiene plays a huge role. This past week I found myself in close quarters with someone seriously lacking personal hygiene skills. Like “Pig-Pen” from the Peanuts comic strip it appeared just to be a way of life – so sad. I wish I knew why and knew a way to broach the subject. In this case, I think the straight forward approach would probably produce a lose – lose end game. Maybe you, the reader have some thoughts on the subject.
I joined the U.S. Navy in March of 1976 and attended boot camp in San Diego. We had our own company “Pig-Pen” and he wasn’t a company asset. Our Company Commander would inspect us and “Pig-Pen” always had something wrong with his uniform but even worse was the fact, that while we were required too and given time, he wouldn’t shower and brush his teeth. The odor that emanated from his body in formation was horrible. Finally, the Company Commander began to discipline the entire company for this one individual’s hygiene habits. At that point, the company took steps to adjust his behavior after taps one night. ‘Nuff said about that incident.
Later in my career I had a Sailor in my division aboard ship that had similar hygiene habits. It’s bad enough with sixty guys in one berthing compartment who give a darn. But, add one who won’t shower, brush his teeth or get his laundry washed can make a both a berthing compartment and work space really brutal. When the complaints came to me I tried sitting down and counseling him. That worked for a short period of time but after awhile he went back to the old habits. I guess it’s true – “a mind changed against its will is of the same opinion still.”
For the health and comfort of his shipmates I ended up tasking his LPO with getting him up thirty minutes before reveille and escorting him to the head (shipboard bathroom) and making him shower, shave and brush his teeth. Once a week his Work Center Supervisor was tasked to stand by him in berthing so he would strip his rack and remake it with clean sheets. This was followed by going through his locker to make sure all his dirty clothes got sent to the laundry.
We laugh at the Peanuts character “Pig-Pen” but it’s really sad. Imagine the poor soul whose personal hygiene habits announce his presence everywhere he goes. Would be friends and Co-workers avoid getting to close and staying around too long. And, the closest of personal relationships just don’t get the opportunity to blossom. One doesn’t have to guess how much the personal hygiene habits of “Pig-Pen”stymied the relationship with his “love interest” Violet.
I am continuously in and out of homes and offices and meeting new people. Oftentimes the environment puts us in close quarters. While my business is technology it continues to exist because of developed relationships and personal hygiene plays a huge role. This past week I found myself in close quarters with someone seriously lacking personal hygiene skills. Like “Pig-Pen” from the Peanuts comic strip it appeared just to be a way of life – so sad. I wish I knew why and knew a way to broach the subject. In this case, I think the straight forward approach would probably produce a lose – lose end game. Maybe you, the reader have some thoughts on the subject.
I joined the U.S. Navy in March of 1976 and attended boot camp in San Diego. We had our own company “Pig-Pen” and he wasn’t a company asset. Our Company Commander would inspect us and “Pig-Pen” always had something wrong with his uniform but even worse was the fact, that while we were required too and given time, he wouldn’t shower and brush his teeth. The odor that emanated from his body in formation was horrible. Finally, the Company Commander began to discipline the entire company for this one individual’s hygiene habits. At that point, the company took steps to adjust his behavior after taps one night. ‘Nuff said about that incident.
Later in my career I had a Sailor in my division aboard ship that had similar hygiene habits. It’s bad enough with sixty guys in one berthing compartment who give a darn. But, add one who won’t shower, brush his teeth or get his laundry washed can make a both a berthing compartment and work space really brutal. When the complaints came to me I tried sitting down and counseling him. That worked for a short period of time but after awhile he went back to the old habits. I guess it’s true – “a mind changed against its will is of the same opinion still.”
For the health and comfort of his shipmates I ended up tasking his LPO with getting him up thirty minutes before reveille and escorting him to the head (shipboard bathroom) and making him shower, shave and brush his teeth. Once a week his Work Center Supervisor was tasked to stand by him in berthing so he would strip his rack and remake it with clean sheets. This was followed by going through his locker to make sure all his dirty clothes got sent to the laundry.
We laugh at the Peanuts character “Pig-Pen” but it’s really sad. Imagine the poor soul whose personal hygiene habits announce his presence everywhere he goes. Would be friends and Co-workers avoid getting to close and staying around too long. And, the closest of personal relationships just don’t get the opportunity to blossom. One doesn’t have to guess how much the personal hygiene habits of “Pig-Pen”stymied the relationship with his “love interest” Violet.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow...
I hate to admit something that everyone else has known all along - I'm human. I have fears and weaknesses and though I think I'm pretty handy at compartmentalizing my life, these past several weeks have really pushed me beyond my meager capabilities - but not beyond God's.
Several weeks ago my bride of 32 years, during a routine procedure, was found to have an unidentified spot on her liver. Prudent medicine required scheduling a CT scan which was done a week ago Friday. Then the wait to have it read and the wait for another doctor's appointment to get the results.
Early on we determined that everything was going to be OK and, in any event, it was in God's hands. It seemed so easy for Cheryl who is a woman of unshakable faith. For me... while I could push that compartment door closed I couldn't lock it shut. While I placed her health in God's hands my fears would creep in. I found myself driving from service call to service call with teary eyes.
Prayer was the only thing that provided peace. I have grown enough in my walk to pray that God's will be done rather than "God, let's make a deal." However, I surely let Him know the desires of my heart.
Today we received an answer to that prayer. I missed the medical terms but it was something about blood vessels and the equivalent to a birth mark on her liver. Praise God! She (Cheryl) has to put up with me for years to come yet!
My relief knows no bounds. On the ride home I was so excited I offered to take her to Hawaii. Ever practical she said, "stay focused Todd."
WOW! My cup is overflowing.
Several weeks ago my bride of 32 years, during a routine procedure, was found to have an unidentified spot on her liver. Prudent medicine required scheduling a CT scan which was done a week ago Friday. Then the wait to have it read and the wait for another doctor's appointment to get the results.
Early on we determined that everything was going to be OK and, in any event, it was in God's hands. It seemed so easy for Cheryl who is a woman of unshakable faith. For me... while I could push that compartment door closed I couldn't lock it shut. While I placed her health in God's hands my fears would creep in. I found myself driving from service call to service call with teary eyes.
Prayer was the only thing that provided peace. I have grown enough in my walk to pray that God's will be done rather than "God, let's make a deal." However, I surely let Him know the desires of my heart.
Today we received an answer to that prayer. I missed the medical terms but it was something about blood vessels and the equivalent to a birth mark on her liver. Praise God! She (Cheryl) has to put up with me for years to come yet!
My relief knows no bounds. On the ride home I was so excited I offered to take her to Hawaii. Ever practical she said, "stay focused Todd."
WOW! My cup is overflowing.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Giving Dangerously
I keep having these recurring dreams of posting to this blog but wake up and nothing has changed. I even have material... still nothing. Like everyone else, I'm busy. However, sitting in church Sunday morning I had a thought and, here it is, Monday night, I'm still busy but if I don't move on this it will pass me by.
Just in case anybody missed it the economy is headed south and not even looking over its shoulder. And, as positive as I am that better days are ahead it’s no consolation to anyone that has lost a job, a home or watched their 401K turn into a 201K in recent months.
To set the stage, surfer dude and teaching pastor Ed Noble is doing a series titled "A Year of Living Dangerously." This week was part 4 - "A Dangerous Discipline" and it was no surprise, as I scanned through the notes prior to the start of service, to see a Leviticus reference to tithing.
Ahh, the tithing talk. Best as I can tell it is probably the least favorite thing to teach on since it's almost never talked about. Being "seeker friendly" we sneak up on giving by telling visitors to let the bag pass by. And, that "this is an opportunity for those who call God our father and Journey our home..." (And, I think, we as a body are proper for doing it that way.)
So, when Ed got to the "obvious" point in the notes and skipped over it I thought "NO, ED, DON'T WIMP OUT!" I couldn't have been more wrong. Thank-you Ed (he'll never read this). You covered it beautifully.
All of that to drop my two cents. I'm somewhat hesitant to be quite this transparent but here goes. For the majority of 32 years of marriage our family has been a single income family. As such I would mentally justify letting the bag pass by or dropping a little folding money on occasion. My justification being "God knows how tight things are and He's just happy I'm here."
Of course God did know how tight things were and He was happy any time I entered His house. But, it's hard to bless a disobedient son. Even God can't steer a parked car.
Since recommitting my life to Christ and committing my business to operate in a manor pleasing to Him things have simply blossomed. Life hasn't gotten easier. There has been financial crisis within the family. Cheryl lost her mother and I lost my father this past year but our business has continued to flourish and, in fact, increase substantially enabling Cheryl to make frequent and extended trips to Colorado to take care of her folks and additionally make multiple trips to Texas for us to be with mine. God has provided more than just our needs.
There are certain biblical principles or laws you might say that just cannot be ignored without suffering consequences.
1. The law of reciprocity: you reap what you sow
2. The law of increasing returns: you reap more than you sow
3. The law of delayed gratification: you reap after you sow
I don't believe in performance based Christianity. I figured out a long time ago I'll never be good enough and need all the grace I can get. I do believe however, that God cannot lie and when He says "test me" I'd be an idiot not to go all in.
So, there you go. Nobody asked me, but...
Just in case anybody missed it the economy is headed south and not even looking over its shoulder. And, as positive as I am that better days are ahead it’s no consolation to anyone that has lost a job, a home or watched their 401K turn into a 201K in recent months.
To set the stage, surfer dude and teaching pastor Ed Noble is doing a series titled "A Year of Living Dangerously." This week was part 4 - "A Dangerous Discipline" and it was no surprise, as I scanned through the notes prior to the start of service, to see a Leviticus reference to tithing.
Ahh, the tithing talk. Best as I can tell it is probably the least favorite thing to teach on since it's almost never talked about. Being "seeker friendly" we sneak up on giving by telling visitors to let the bag pass by. And, that "this is an opportunity for those who call God our father and Journey our home..." (And, I think, we as a body are proper for doing it that way.)
So, when Ed got to the "obvious" point in the notes and skipped over it I thought "NO, ED, DON'T WIMP OUT!" I couldn't have been more wrong. Thank-you Ed (he'll never read this). You covered it beautifully.
All of that to drop my two cents. I'm somewhat hesitant to be quite this transparent but here goes. For the majority of 32 years of marriage our family has been a single income family. As such I would mentally justify letting the bag pass by or dropping a little folding money on occasion. My justification being "God knows how tight things are and He's just happy I'm here."
Of course God did know how tight things were and He was happy any time I entered His house. But, it's hard to bless a disobedient son. Even God can't steer a parked car.
Since recommitting my life to Christ and committing my business to operate in a manor pleasing to Him things have simply blossomed. Life hasn't gotten easier. There has been financial crisis within the family. Cheryl lost her mother and I lost my father this past year but our business has continued to flourish and, in fact, increase substantially enabling Cheryl to make frequent and extended trips to Colorado to take care of her folks and additionally make multiple trips to Texas for us to be with mine. God has provided more than just our needs.
There are certain biblical principles or laws you might say that just cannot be ignored without suffering consequences.
1. The law of reciprocity: you reap what you sow
2. The law of increasing returns: you reap more than you sow
3. The law of delayed gratification: you reap after you sow
I don't believe in performance based Christianity. I figured out a long time ago I'll never be good enough and need all the grace I can get. I do believe however, that God cannot lie and when He says "test me" I'd be an idiot not to go all in.
So, there you go. Nobody asked me, but...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
My First Blog & Introduction
Hi!
Nobody asked me but...
My name is Todd. (hi todd)
My worklife revolves around technology so why is this so difficult to setup? I browse through other blogs and and see master pieces - works of art - organization. None of that will apply here. I don't even know if I can keep this up on a regular basis. For that matter, what is a regular basis?
I have a twitter account but seldom tweet. I opened a myspace account just so I could see family photos of non-local family. I have a Facebook account but no face (presently using my company logo).
So why blog? I guess this is a place to put those thoughts, opinions & tolsonisms for all those times I have something to say on the subject but - nobody asked me! :D
Todd - the father
Nobody asked me but...
My name is Todd. (hi todd)
My worklife revolves around technology so why is this so difficult to setup? I browse through other blogs and and see master pieces - works of art - organization. None of that will apply here. I don't even know if I can keep this up on a regular basis. For that matter, what is a regular basis?
I have a twitter account but seldom tweet. I opened a myspace account just so I could see family photos of non-local family. I have a Facebook account but no face (presently using my company logo).
So why blog? I guess this is a place to put those thoughts, opinions & tolsonisms for all those times I have something to say on the subject but - nobody asked me! :D
Todd - the father
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